The name and slogan of the company tells us what we need to know: PooPrints Match the Mess Through DNA. PooPrints, based in Knoxville Tennessee, is apparently building a thriving trade on the need for condos and neighborhood associations to stop errant dog dumpers and their owners. The system is straightforward, if unpleasant and humiliating for my kind. A dog’s rear is swabbed for a sample of DNA which is then kept on file in Knoxville. If in the future, a mystery Number Two is found on the stairs, the sidewalk or in the commons, then DNA matching can ensure that the slovenly party may be punished for the good of the collective hive. Good luck making this work in Manhattan, where Yours Truly is even more grateful to live (this is not an admission that my Number Twos are not responsibly dealt with). ABC News covered the story here and for your amusement or possible practical interest (I hope not) here is the company’s website. If they start doing this with dogs, who knows where it will end (DNA from a cigarette butt, a soda can, last person to leave the door open…). In any event, I did learn some interesting, even disturbing, facts from the website such as 1) “Consumer Reports listed dog poop as Number 6 on the list of America’s Top Gripes in 2010″ (hidden fees were #1); 2) dog poop is, according to PooPrints, not just a gripe, but one of America’s biggest health and environmental problems (who will write its “Silent Spring”?); and, finally, “an average dog generates 276 pounds of waste a year. In the US alone, that is enough poop to fill 800 football fields one foot deep” (or, more vividly, one football field, 800 feet deep).
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